This time in tuesday tips I have decided to go forward from wedding tips to marriage tips.
Not that I am super qualified to give advice on how marriages should be to work, but I think being married for four and a half years, together for nearly nine accounts for something!!
So the first thing that I think makes a marriage work is being friends, preferably best friends!
Even if its an arranged marriage, I think if you find plenty of common grounds and similar likes and dislike it will seriously help. Be it watching similar movies or going clubbing or drinking different flavoured teas. Don't focus on silly things like how good looking the person is, is how popular or worse how rich.
Find someone who is on the same intellectual wave length as you. It may seem amazing to be in awe of someone initially because "Oh my God, he knows all his wines by name and cities they come from" but after a while it could leave you feeling foolish in front of him.
Also don't pick a girl who doesn't get what you're talking about because one day you'll tire of explaining things to her. Yes, people do grow with someone who knows more that them, but really how often has that worked out?
Isn't it better to grow together?
Like Aadi and me, we like the same things we talk about the same things, our music tastes are slightly different but more or less similar... We both love movies, love music fests, love vacations, sleeping in hotel rooms, love swimming, love the beach, love eating out all the time! Left to us we both could eat out every day!
Our intellectual levels are the same... So we talk about lots of things.. We can actually talk thru the night even nine years into knowing each other!
Our conversations shift from one to another... Jumping from movies to spiritual conversations may seem like a mad jump for most people but we go thru them so easy.... He speaks of things I don't know much about, so I learn, I speak of things and he learns.... but it never seems like one is preaching to the other because
the core, the foundation is of equals, its of friends.
I remember when we met, the day we met, we spoke for nearly an hour or two on the steps of our office, thats the day the foundation was set. Post that we had some mad mad fights about horrible and stupid childish things, but I truly believe that the reason we got back to each other eventually was because we were so comfortable with each other.
Thats the best part about marrying your friend, you are already so comfortable. You don't have to pretend, you don't have to always dress up and be someone who impresses your partner, he will always be impressed!!
Fights will actually be lesser, I have experienced this with Aadi, we fight lesser because we ask ourselves "would we overreact like this if a friend had done this?" and the answer is usually NO. Thing is we expect too much from a "husband" or a "boyfriend" but we are always happy with what we get from a friend!
And I guarantee it will always be fun!! When you chill in bed watching silly tv shows pigging on chips and dips with bottles of coke without worrying about how you should have gone for that (formal) dinner in those super uncomfortable shoes to that super snooty restaurant.... you'll be glad you married your mad best friend!!
