1. Fixing the date!
First of all decide a wedding date a minimum of ten months away. You will need that much time to get organized. Actually make that a year! Now understand that you have enough time to work out every important thing you will need for you wedding.
2. Break up the wedding into core parts-
a. Venues and catering and Decor.
b. Clothes - jewelry and make up
c. Guest lists and accommodation.
Now divide these major parts among your family and friends. Like let your parents decide the guest list and accommodation. Let a close friend help you with you clothes and make up. You decide the venue but let your family decide the menu. Give an over all look and feel that you want for the decor and leave it to the decorator after going through samples.Don't fuss!
Smaller categories like photographers and DJs pick people who are good and reliable but again don't expect them to give you an entire list of songs from beginning to end.
The more leeway you give some one who you are hiring for their specific talent the better they will perform. the more you go into telling them how to do their job the more the will back off.
3. Simplify the planning further.
Find venues that are closer to home so as to make sure you reach on time. For the same reason make sure your salon is close to home, or better still work with someone who will come home and get you ready. Remember in those last few days being at home will make you most comfortable...No five star hotel room will give you the warmth and love as your own home.
Do make up and hair tests in advance. DO not try to use a make up artist for the first time, or get the test done by the senior and have the junior come on D day. That's a sure fire way of loosing your mind! Do not stress out your make up artist by being madly particular about the shade of lip gloss you want, again remember giving some leeway. Show her images of the make up you like and ask her to stick to it.
Also one of the things that can really take the pressure off is having lesser guests... i know in most Indian weddings that is almost impossible.... but try to convince your parents that maybe other than the reception you could have all small functions.
Wear your wedding shoes for two three day before get used to them ( this point i'm just throwing in because I've seen most girls being super irritable because their feet hurt in their new shoes!!!!)
4. Be organized.
Get a big book and divide it into all the major categories and add the most important one: budget! Categorically go through each and every one and make notes. Have a daily To Do list and make one for any family member or friend you think need one. Don't breathe down their necks but occasionally ask them if they have managed to tick off all the items.
Or run or go to the gym or swim... anything really to get your mind off the wedding. Don't let the wedding and all its little details take over your life. Its an important day but its not the end all of life.
6. Take fun breaks from the wedding.
Party with your friends go for lunches and dinner and long coffee sessions.... have sleep overs.... anything to de-stress.And keep this going till the very last day... you'll come out glowing!!!
7. Be perfect but don't be a "Perfectionist"!!!!
After all these very general points lets come to the one the only which really divides the happy brides and the crazy ones. Deciding what your mehendi design is exactly from finger tips to ankles, picking the threads for your outfits embroidery to matching the shade of your flowers to table fabric to your own outfit these are the dividing factors.
Who really cares if you have criss cross lines on your palm or if your "dulhan" is facing the wrong side; Who really cares and notices that your embroidery thread is not exactly going with your nail polish. Don't laugh I know people like this.
You know the only thing that matters is when you husband to be sees you walk toward him, and the smile in his eyes..
When i got married I had planned everything down to even making some of the decor myself (with mommy dearest) and I was going mad... even border lining on crazy when a friend.... well at that time my cousins friend sent me this mail:
Don't worry 'bout nething, dont' stress 'bout nethign, everything that's to happen will happen properly nd everythign will fall into place as the day(s) zap by. Just breathe!!! , and yes when u're all tayyar-vayyar wearing u're beautiful weddin outfit and u go around asking everyone if you look ok? Trust me you'll look beautiful no matter what ur wearing! I don't know what this weddin day does to you girls, but in my experience there is this blissful radiance that just makes u all look even prettier than ever! so again... Alishka.... just breathe... lol
And it literally changed everything for me. I especially loved the part that everything that has to happen will happen properly... and about how brides look beautiful no matter what.... heck I'm still smiling!!!!
So come on all brides to be.... sit back and enjoy the process and that will just make you love the day of your wedding to that absolutely special guy!